Baby Showers
Okay, listen—let’s get one thing straight before I even start: somewhere between “Can you believe I’m going to be a parent?” and “Oh, sweet holy bananas—I am not emotionally prepared for this!” comes the baby shower. Yep. That rainbow-glazed, frosting-dappled rite of passage sandwiched delicately between sleep-training podcasts and whatever Greek mythology you’re projecting onto your unborn’s future personality (Aphrodite, if you’re asking. Obviously).
Let’s do it. The baby shower.
It’s like planning a feel-good festival where you don’t actually want anyone to give you helpful advice, but you do want presents. And finger sandwiches. And, if you’re like me, that feeling of organized chaos perched delicately on the edge of tears because your hormones have opinions of their own now, and, wow, why are napkins so soft? Lol.
I digress. I always digress.
I. Baby Shower Ideas
Too many. Not enough, sometimes. Pinterest will either make you a queen or plunge you straight into the Pit of Despair (TM). There are always baby shower themes: enchanted forest, princess palace, gender-neutral woodland frogs on tiny surfboards. Which, if anyone has used that last one, please email me. Stat.
Your baby shower ideas don’t have to be “unique.” I swear—sometimes the most magical showers I’ve seen have involved nothing more than a few paper pom-poms, someone’s fridge that still smells like onions, and people you mildly tolerate but mostly adore.
You want real magic? Have at least one grandma there who will tell a mildly scandalous story about her own baby shower. That’s the energy. That’s your vision board.
Also: skip the melted chocolate in a diaper game. Just trust me. It’s worse than anything you’re imagining.
Princess Baby Shower Ideas
Okay, I am just going to say it: there’s only so many ways you can throw a baby shower before you accidentally end up recycling Sharon’s “rattles everywhere” idea for the third year in a row. Blame Pinterest. Or the sleep deprivation. (Or both! Probably both.)
But the princess baby shower? Yeah, I am digging it. I mean, what’s not to love! Tiara cookies, sparkles that WILL linger on your couch for months, tiny wands that double as stirring spoons. It’s chaos—but it’s adorable chaos.
Let’s be real. There’s something deeply satisfying about seeing your grown aunts in plastic crowns, cackling over a game of “Guess the Royal Baby Food.” Your friend Miranda, who pretends to be above theme parties (always shows up, though), suddenly plotting to steal a pink balloon arch on her way out. They’re all in.
Is it over the top? Of course. That’s the point. Life is too short for subtlety when there’s a baby on the way! I mean, why not have a cardboard castle centerpiece that towers over the punch bowl?
Go full fairytale. Or at least let yourself giggle at the sight of Grandpa licking icing off a glass slipper cookie. This is your royal occasion.
II. Baby Shower Checklist
- You need snacks.
- You need napkins.
- You need a playlist that oscillates wildly between Disney bops and Celine Dion.
- A guest list.
- RSVPs. (If people actually answer, pinch yourself. Hard. You might be dreaming.)
All of this sounds official ("Madison is this all that needs to be on a baby shower checklist?" I hear you ask), but real talk—write it down, or don’t. I know at least three amazing humans who hosted with nothing but a scribbled envelope and a pound of brie.
Oh, also, don’t forget the camera. Someone has to capture the moment you hold up an impossibly tiny onesie and suddenly feel both invincible and like you’ve joined a cult of sleep deprivation. (Spoiler: you have. It’s cool. We have snacks!)
III. How to Plan a Baby Shower
- Step one?
- Panic. This is usually the first step, and if you have gotten here, it was the right one.
- Step two?
- Text five people. “Help!?” This is usually another good move.
- Step three?
- Then the last, most enjoyable step... Find a date when thirteen out of fifteen besties are unavailable, but then stumble on the perfect afternoon anyway. It’s like magic, but with Outlook calendars and mild passive aggression.
Decorate, delegate, hydrate. Planning a baby shower is a lot of hard work, especially when you do it the first time. But honestly... The rest—honestly—runs itself. If you’re lucky, no one spills fruit punch on the gifts. If not? Well, it’s a story for your memoir.
Budget? Yes, you need one, but also: if Martha Stewart creeps into your dreams, just calmly show her to the door and go back to sleep. No one is judging your dollar-store streamers. We’re all here for you, not the floral arrangements.
IV. Baby Shower Guide
Here’s the thing: All baby shower guides are, in the end, a list of suggestions.
Take what makes your soul sing, leave the rest, and ignore Aunt Pam if she starts blabbing about the necessity of white tablecloths.
A baby shower is not a wedding. You’re not entering into a legally binding contract with cupcake liners. If the punch is too tart, add sherbet, shrug, and tell people it’s “rustic.” If you forget the party favors, offer guests an extra slice of cake and a hug. That’s the party favor. That is the whole vibe.
At the end, you’ll look around and realize: Everyone is here, rooting for you, helping you nest against the coming whirlwind of diapers and midnight existentialism.
That’s it. That’s the “guide.”
Build the joy. Break a rule or three. Laugh at weird games. Ugly cry when someone gifts you a tiny blanket that smells like fabric softener and gentle hope.
Then eat some cake.
And try to remember where the napkins went.
Because, holy sht, they’re so soft.
